Monday, December 25, 2006
Im letting go.
I was dumb and ignorant about the hints you have dropped. I thought that there was still a slim chance that you will like me. I was so wrong.
I had no idea if you were misleading me the whole while. Whenever I asked you if the guy I like would accept me, you told me he would and would definitely like me. Moreover you knew that the person was you all along! I can still remember vividly how you rejected me, how you told me that you nolonger likes me. The look.
So why did you lie to me? Why mislead me when u felt nothing for me? If you didnt misled me, I would have just liked you in secret.
Why the hugs and kisses. Why the look when I called you sweet names. Although I know alot of guys, I dont flirt.
You told me that I would be able to feel if the other person likes me, but I couldnt feel it from you. Even when u said 'I like you' looking at me in the eye. I know you were trying to tell me something at that point of time, but I chose not to acknowledge it.
It all makes sense now. How you didnt reply my msges. When you said that
SHE didnt allow you to smoke. I was foolish enough to really think it was me. You are really a good actor, I really dont uds you anymore. I nolonger know when is the real you and when you are acting. I really cant differentiate.
You probably found me too clingy, and very much unlike me. I know that. But it was merely because I was trying all means to secure you. You know me, Im never a clingy person. I only did that, because I felt that I was about to lose you...soon. But now, Im going to be alrite. Cuz Im a pretty girl, and pretty girls have got tons of guys around... waiting.
Thanks for the good times we had in the past 3 years. Right now its all going to be part of my precious memories. Thanks for letting me know how it felt to like, love and hate. I will definitely cherish the next guy who comes along.
The love we have had long turned into kinship. I dint feel heartbroken at all, I just felt like crying. Grieving for losing someone who was once so close to me. Who once soo uds me.
All endings marks the start of a new beginning.
Kenneth, I loved you.
No, I love the Kenneth you used to be.